When we last left our intrepid hero, Spaceman Spiff, he was busy fighting the evil demons of stupidity over at Holmes Products. Given the futility of doing this Spaceman Spiff returned to his mere human form and went for a run and a workout over at the Student Life Center, the massive gym at RIT.

Obviously, it was near the end of the quarter. Wednesday is usually a very busy day at the SLC, with dozens of people on the courts playing basketball, and usually fifteen or more people using the indoor track. Yesterday, there were a grand total of 5 people on the track when I started running, and never more than 8 people at any one time.

The track is a nice elevated 2 lane track that is located up near the celing of the SLC. From below in the gym, it's about 25 feet in the air, and runs around the edge of the gym. The surface is rubberized, which makes it very nice and comfortable for your legs to be on.

Somebody must have been listening to the complaints of the runners, because new yellow signs were posted around the track saying "WALK ONLY ON THE INSIDE LANE. DO NOT WALK IN PAIRS!!!!"

Of course, given that this is another entry in the Chronicles of Stupid People, you've probably already guessed whats coming next. Did people pay attention to this sign? Nooooo. Of course not. This one pair of 40-something ladies (probably faculty or staff) decides to walk in a pair across the 2 lanes of the track. And it's a real pisser too, because they have pretty wide hips... so they're taking up most of the space. Makes it very difficult for people who are actually running around the track to actually run. You see, I'm not the fastest runner in the world. I haven't run a mile lateley, but it would probably take me about 9:45-10:00 to do it. There's a lot of other runners that are going at much faster paces than I am. Trying to pass these 2 wenches can be dangerous, because not only do you have to go so far out to get around them, you also risk being hit by any speedster coming up behind you on the track.

I think that Nerf Weaponry could be used to solve this problem. Maybe a rubber band gun instead... simply shoot the rat assed bastid who is walking in the outer lane. Yeah... that's the ticket.

In all actuality, I don't think that there's any problem in this world that cannot be solved with bubble bum, duct tape, a can of WD-40, and a shotgun. If moves and it shouldn't, duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, WD 40. Hungry? Try the bubble gum. Something pisses you off? Shotgun.

But, that's just my thoughts on the matter.