I watched the movie with great interest. I saw the origina, and though it was funny as hell.

But that was 2 years ago.

And I thought it would be a cool thing to watch. I really did.

And then I felt pain. Not physical pain, no. I felt that earlier in the day while I was doing my running up in the gym. That hurt like hell, and it's got me tired enough to want to go to bed at a reasonable hour tonight.

No, this is icky emotional pain. It's like evilgoovie, mocksie on a really bad day, andrea in a car acccident, and swallowing Alanis Morissette's jagged little pill all rolled up into one.

That movie hurt. Geez... I never knew *that* world existed... and I know it doesn't... it's only a movie, it's only a make believe world... and yet... it's all to familiar... and I'm so damn lonely, and I'm in such a negative funk... I saw what a waste my high school life really was. I missed out on so much... and now, here I am, 23 and done with college and nothing has changed.

And there's nobody I can even talk with about this... all my friends are "away", in the AIM sense of away. I don't have anyone I can just call up and say "hey, let's go do something." Heck, I don't even know anybody's phone number unless it's programmed into my palm pilot or my cell phone.

So there I am, I am just a screen name.

And here they all come back again... i know they must have all done something together, every single one of them just came "back" (again, in the AIM sense of "Back")... and it makes me wonder... is it me?

My mind fills with accusations, they left me out, they ignored me again. And my mind fills with self loathing, did I not shower today or something? Did I forget to be kind to someone? Did they really see me picking my nose while I was driving home?

I need to sleep. I need to force this dark side out of my mind... i need to... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Posted from a friends journal: "Wanted: Nice guy. Shining armor and white steed optional but recommended."