Sorry it's been so long. The past 50 days or so have been a long slog of depression. It's not getting better, and it's only getting worse.

I have just completed what is probably the worst week and a half of work in my life. I feel the need to write because I need to keep you all in the loop.

Last week, I discovered that my entire branch was "re-aligned" out of existance. No, I didn't lose my job or anything, but my branch is being consolidated. This means that I'm going to end up with a new boss in a short period of time.

To make matters more complicated, I was removed from the project I was on. This means I will be losing the high powered computer that I had spent 4 months acquiring and instead will be returning to having the laptop computer that originally had. While my current supervisor is telling me to not worry about that, I know that access to proper equipment is an essential part of staying motivated as a software developer (McConnell, Rapid Development Chapter 11.4). I had to move my desk into a new cubicle area. In less than two weeks, I will have to move again when my branch moves into new quarters. I can't tell if this is just bad planning or what, but it brings me to the shocker that my supervisor dropped on me today.

I have been charged with sexual harassment.

I know the identity of my accuser and I know that the alleged conduct was verbal. I want to make it perfectly clear right now that i bear no ill will towards my accuser. I fully support my accusers right to file a complaint with my supervisor regarding my alleged behavior.

I am distressed over the following:

I was not informed explicitly of which of my actions was inappropriate. If I do not know what measures were inappropriate, I cannot take corrective actions against behavior that I do not know that I have committed.

The accuser did not feel that they had the ability to discuss my actions with me. I believe that you can solve problems by talking them through. If I created an environment where the person felt this was not possible, or felt uncomfortable, then I am truly sorry.

I cannot show remorse. Remorse requires me to do three things. 1. Do something that was wrong. 2. Know that I did something wrong. 3. Express regret over what I did. Since I was not told #1, I cannot come to any conclusion over #2, and inferring #3 is impossible.

Basically, what it comes down to is that I've been threatened with my job over this. However, my harasser, who allegedly has a pattern of inappropriate behavior far worse than mine and is still there after all this time.